Quite a thoughtful introspection, Kayla! I have a whole shelf of diaries I've written over the years, and my first impression reading them is usually, "Did I write that?!"

The lack of self-recognition is a symptom of maturity and growth. Take it, but keep those old diaries, please. You'll find ample richness in your past selves to create many fictional characters. They may be flawed, but so is everyone. You mention feeling imperfect and like an imposter at those activist meetings, but so does everyone else. My experience with about a dozen activist groups tells me every individual has their own reasons, usually selfish, for participating, and everyone is human, therefore flawed. How do we make the world a better place when we're essentially flawed? My best hunch is that we better the world when we better ourselves, or as I express at the end of Fugitive Dreams, "model the society we dream of in our own personal lives."

Incidentally, my trick for eliciting forgotten memories is to play back the music I used to listen to during the period of my life I want to recall. Your eyes and mind can fail you, but you can trust in your ears.